Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
