can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Randomize
