All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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