i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
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