i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Randomize
