You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize