So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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