Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
how drunk are you?
Several
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Randomize
