I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
