so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Randomize
