I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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