Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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