No, you can still breathe under the balls.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
