I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
P.S. I can't hear my feet
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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