you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
