After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
