I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
