I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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