Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
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