If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I got inside last night via doggy door
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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