So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
