are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
my shit smells like andre
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
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