please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Randomize
