So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
My liver just had a heart attack.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
