shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
