His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Randomize
