My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
