I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
