It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Randomize
