He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Randomize
