the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
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