My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
