I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
