his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I'm at about main and main street
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
