u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Randomize
