I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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