hotel room ftw
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
