im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Randomize
