My first STD was from a foam party
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
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