Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
