he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Holy shit dude........stairs
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