Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Randomize
