Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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