How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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