Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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