Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
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