"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
You ate ashes out of my bong
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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