Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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