how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Randomize
