We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
