You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
The air was thick with penises
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
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