Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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