I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I wish they made helmets for livers.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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