you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
