I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize