I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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