you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
