im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
