I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Randomize
