Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
